Sanity is Overrated
by LaurieLover
Summary: Shortish drabbles taken from the lives of the lovely Marauders Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter - aka Messrs Padfoot, Moony, Prongs and Wormtail. Because everybody likes hearing from crazy people now and again. Enjoy!
1. Snicker Snicker

I imagine pretty much every chapter's gonna be set up like this, so decide if you like it now or if it's kinda annoying. This is my first chap, but I think it came out well! Please review!

Disclaimer: Nobody _really_ owns the Marauders. They're just too awesome for that.

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"Snicker snicker."

 "What?"

 "Padfoot walks down the stairs, holding his wand up and preparing himself for-"

 "Padfoot, I know you're there."

 "Padfoot pauses. He's sure Moony's just bluffing. He's got to be, no way he could hear the silently deadly Pad-"

 "I can sure as hell hear you!"

 "Padfoot wonders who Moony is talking to."

 "I'm talking to YOU, Padfoot!"

 "Padfoot wonders how someone else came to get the name Padfoot as well."

 "Jesus christ."

 "Padfoot laughs. It's funny when Moony curses."

 "I'll give you a _real_ curse if you don't quit it."

 "Padfoot thinks someone's grumpy."

 "No shit."

 "Sherlock."

 "What?"

 "No shit, Sherlock. That's what you're supposed to say."

 "At least you're not narrating anymore."

 "Padfoot snorts."

"Moony stands up."

 "Padfoot gets annoyed at Moony for copying his totally awesome narration."

 "Moony gets annoyed at Padfoot for interrupting his grumpiness."

 "Padfoot doesn't like that look in Moony's eye."

 "Moony thinks that Padfoot is smarter than he looks."

 "Padfoot doesn't think that's possible."

 "Moony begs to differ."

 "Padfoot begs Moony to put the chair down."

 "Moony begs Padfoot to remember the counter he taught him all of five minutes ago."

 "Padfoot is surprised Moony would expect such a thing."

 "Moony's sure he is."

 "...Padfoot is getting very weary of that chair."

 "Moony has no comment."

 "WATCH IT!"

 "Moony laughs evilly."

 "You almost gave me a splinter!"

 "Moony's disappointed."

 "OW!"

 "Moony's better now."

 "MOONY!"

 "Snicker snicker."

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Hope it wasn't confusing! Reviews appreciated!


	2. Mum's A Bitch

Sorry for the long wait! I'm afraid you'll have to wait 'til after the summer for the next chapter. But then I'll update much faster! Anyways, I hope this isn't confusing again. Enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: We all know I totally own Harry Potter, but not in that sense.

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"Mum's a bitch."

"First of all you deserved it and second of all her name's McGonagall, and she's about as much your mum as Hagrid gets scared by mice."

"So, like, a lot."

"...Okay so that was a bad example."

"Mr. Black?"

"You know what Remus meant, Padfoot."

"Oh, what's this? Mr. I'm-too-cool finally decides he can talk?"

"Yeah, you got a problem?"

"Augh don't fight now guys! We have work to do!"

"Well we wouldn't _have_ this work to do if it wasn't for that knuckle-headed bastard over there!"

"Professor...?"

"Not my fault Mum's a bitch. When did she get so bitchy anyways?"

"I think it began around the time you started calling her Mum, Sirius."

"Funny Remus. Just keep on laughing, c'mon. Let's see what happens."

"Don't threaten Remus!"

"Peter you are in no position to argue right now."

"Thanks, Pete, but James is right. Malfoy really pulled a one-over on you."

"Just because I'm stuck in a bubble doesn't mean I can't fight!"

"Frankly, Pete, it reaaaaally does."

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a-"

"Oh you'd better Sirius, provoke McGonagall like that again and we'll be doing more than being substitutes."

"I think the Professor said we're supposed to be doing lesson number 20, sir-"

"I SAID CALL ME BLACK!"

"Goddammit Sirius that even scared me!"

"Shut up James."

"Someone's in a murderous mood."

"I _hate_ midgets!"

"They're not midgets they're first years! And you're scaring them!"

"Fuck off Moony."

"Virgin ears!"

"Oh hell no you don't have virgin ears. I heard what you were saying to your _girlfriend_ yesterday up in our dorm, going on and on about how-"

"Not _me_ the students!!"

"On and on about what?"

"Hey look, Moony's all red!"

"Hey look, Peter's captain obvious!"

"On and on about what?"

"You don't have to sound so cheerful all of a sudden Sirius."

"Well, I'm excited - did you actually _learn_ something from me, Remus?"

"This can't get anymore ironic."

"I've been trying to teach him about girls for _years_!"

"Thanks for telling the class, Sirius. Thanks."

"He's not very good with the ladies, you see. It doesn't come naturally to _all_ of us."

"What is this, health class?"

"No stupid it's transfiguration. Why would mum teach a health class...god that'd be traumatizing."

"Mr. Black, I have a question!"

"Yes dwarf?"

"Does being good with girls come naturally to _you_?"

"Bad question."

"James, he asked and I shall answer."

"Baaaaaad question."

"Well you see my growth-stunted friend-"

"He'll _never_ shut up now."

"Peter nobody cares about you."

"I care about Peter."

"Yeah but you're Remus, you care about everyo-stop distracting me! As I was saying-"

"A word to the wise, class, never let Sirius get started on girls."

"The list of girls he's snogged is even longer than that blasted War and Peace book, honestly. He deserves his own freakin' chapter in the Kama Sutra!"

"What's a Kama Sutra?"

"Er..."

"JAMES!"

"I didn't think they were actually listening!"

"Crap, so in about ten minutes we've taught them that Sirius is a player, Mum's a bitch, I whisper naughty things to my girlfriend, nobody cares about Peter, and thanks to you the Kama Sutra. McGonagall's soo not gonna like this."

"Eh, we've done worse."

"Yeah but remember, Mum's a bitch."

"So back to how good I am with girls..."

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Thanks to those who reviewed, I really appreciate it!!


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